


Distraction

by FyreinFlair



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Poetry, Prose Poem, Trichotillomania
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 11:17:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11379099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FyreinFlair/pseuds/FyreinFlair
Summary: Tabris keeps her head shaved.  When her hair begins to grow again, she decides to reveal the truth to her love.





	Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> cw for trichotillomania

My lover has planted kisses on every inch of my scalp.

 

Each damaged follicle, each stressful moment plucked out by my own hand in frustration.

 

He never questioned my lack of hair.  He calls me beautiful, bald head and all.

 

If not his lips then his hands, light massages reminding me that he's here he's here he's here.

 

He loves me and he's real.

 

He waits for me to tell him.

 

The others had asked before, I had a thousand lies prepared:

 

_ I sold my hair in the alienage to feed my family. _

 

_ I accidentally chopped it off in battle and the lack of hair was easier to deal with. _

_ I like to feel the wind on my skin. _

_ Hair only blocks sound, fighting is easier when you aren't distracted. _

_ It's just a hairstyle choice. _

 

These shut them up for a bit, though I can tell they never quite believe me.

 

The lies are much more interesting, much more fun.  I'd rather it be a choice made in battle, a sacrifice for strength or family.

 

Instead of a sign of weakness.

 

He only asks me when the hair starts growing out again.  Only a few inches of auburn peeking out over sun kissed skin.

 

He asks carefully, as if the wrong words would break my fragile heart.

 

_ I must say, mi amor, I almost miss the feeling of the skin upon your head, though the hair is a nice change of texture.  Why the sudden hairstyle change hmm? _

 

For a moment I wanted to let loose another lie. Pretend it was a choice that I had made. Something that didn't matter.

 

But he always sees the truth in me. It's no use lying to an assassin.

 

_ I pull out my hair. _

 

_ when I'm stressed when I'm bored when I'm sad when I don't realize it when I'm upset when I'm furious when I'm scared _

 

_ the feeling of the strands wrapped around my fingers and having the control to pull it out _

 

_ the popping sensation of it leaving my head _

 

_ the sick gratification of it _

 

_ of removing a texture that doesn't feel right _

 

_ until none of it feels right _

 

_ and the the shame of looking at the pile of hair upon the floor _

 

_ the haircut you never intended to give yourself _

 

_ so you pick up your blade and finish the job _

 

_ hoping everything will be solved and you won't feel like a stranger in your own body _

 

_ but it's never quite that easy. _

 

He pauses, waiting for me to finish. 

 

_ And now? _

 

I breathe in the air for a moment, trying to think of the answer.

 

Intertwining my fingers with his, I cling to his hands as if they anchor me to the ground.

 

_ My fingers are currently busy elsewhere. _

 

He smiles and kisses my hand through his.

 

_ Then let us keep them that way, shall we? _

 

The feeling never truly leaves, but the distraction is welcome.

 

And what a beautiful distraction it is.  

**Author's Note:**

> just a lil something. I've been struggling with trichotillomania recently and... idk I feel like I needed to share my character who struggles with it as well. 
> 
> It's nice to see your own weaknesses in strong people sometimes, so here's my lovely warden and her love Zevran. 
> 
> bah anyway idk what else to say, but thank you for reading <3


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